THE BECOMING - A SAD BEGINNING
At about 3pm yesterday being the last day of the month of January 2019. I got a call from an unknown caller.
“Arhh, who is this?” I sighed. I reluctantly picked the call. Alas it was a buddy whom I stayed with as roomie between 2016 and 2018. I immediately disconnected the line because I’ve been avoiding his call for obvious reasons. But then I decided to take his call at least so that he would not have to call me again.
After the necessary salutation, he asked why I hadn’t returned back to Port Harcourt. I told him that I got admitted into the University of Nigeria hence I won’t be showing up any time soon.
He asked “what course?”
“Animal Fencing" I replied.
Immediately the line went dead. This Bro couldn’t comport himself to at least mutter “Congratulations” indeed, he was very sad I had found myself some place better. Was I disappointed? “Hell NO!
This whole incidence made me reminiscence about my sad beginning. My sojourn in the oil city of Port Harcourt.
There are few lessons you can learn from my experience.
1. YOUR PARENTS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT
The genesis of this whole experience is borne out of the fact that in 2016, I was too desperate to be in a place I had no business being. My mother warned me sternly not to embark on this journey. Unfortunately for me, I disregarded her opinion which turned out to be an enormous mistake I will regret for the rest of my life. Your parents are always right even when their point of view seems archaic. An African adage says “what an old man can see while sitting down, a youngster can’t get the same view even if he climbs a tree”. When you’re about to embark on a new project and you get some resistance from your parents, know that it’s time to evaluate your options. Never be too eager to make a major decision. Always listen to the recommendation of your parents because you can never be always right. Your parents are your custodians ordained by God almighty. So therefore, always respect their opinion.
2. YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR TRUEST FRIENDS
Let me tell you a simple truth that has been validated by psychologist all over the world. Your parents are the only persons who actually wish for you to succeed with reckless abandon. Your success do not in any way hamper their feelings for you. When you succeed, only your parents are genuinely thrilled because it gives them a sense of immense satisfaction. Your parents are your biggest fans even though they might not show this affection physically. Believe me, the love they have for you is genuine. Only your parents can love you unconditionally. Your parents are your biggest fans.
3. FRIENDSHIP IS SHAM
The so called friendship jamboree we’re hooked up in is nothing but a delusion of the mind. Now, here is the problem with friendship. Unlike your parents who love you unconditionally, the love a friend may have for you is elaborately transitional. No wonder, you’d see two great buddies, but months later they become great enemies. You wonder why, could it be that true friendship does not exist?
i. FRIENDSHIP BREEDS JEALOUSY: A friend is only happy with you when you’re less successful than they are. Everyone wants to be in the spotlight and get all the necessary attention. People will always want you to be at their mercy i.e. being dependent on them. If you lose a job, people are happy. But when you get an employment, everybody is sad. Why is it so? An epic example is my so called buddy who couldn’t say “Congratulations”. Maybe his call credit got exhausted immediately after the revelation. Who knows? He would have been able to say something at least insincerely but he never saw it coming.
ii. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS: During the great depression in Port Harcourt City, I got hooked up with some persons. I knew these persons where fake and never expected anything positive from my end. Take my words for it, these persons are energy drainers. Parasitic Negative vibes everywhere. Never make the mistake of associating yourselves with people that do not believe in the beauty of your dreams.
iii. THEY ARE JUST CURIOUS: Majority of the time, people are only concerned because they just want to know your problem. They really do not have the intention of proffering any help or even give a damn. In fact, they go out there and start telling everyone about your challenges. Never reveal your secret to anybody. It’s one of the biggest mistake you can make.
4. KEEP YOUR DREAMS TO YOURSELF
According to psychologist, just revealing your aspiration to someone else gives you a feeling of satisfaction. Hence, you will then lack the proper motivation to work on your goals. Never announce a big project you’re about to embark on. Let the result always speak for itself. It is better when people are mesmerized by the result of you work rather than you going out there to tell them about what you want to do. While in Port Harcourt, I never told my buddies about my next big move. I knew they wouldn’t give me any moral or emotional support rather it would breed jealousy. Maturity is simply the ability to work discretely. Always ask the lord for grace to bridle your tongue. Talk with sense.
5. GOD ALWAYS SENDS A PERSON
In the means of your trial, the Lord will always send a person to up lift your spirit. Around June 2018, the lord sent a young man to me and the words he spoke to me in less than about 5 minutes gave me the motivation I needed at that time. He emphasized why I shouldn’t settle for less. In his words “you’re more than this”. So you see, it’s good to listen to those around you as they may just have the right message for you.
6. YOU HAVE TO LET GO
Sometimes in life, you need to let go of the past. Do not hold any grudge against anybody as life itself is dynamic. Forgive and move on. For me, what I had to do was to cut off every iota of attachment from PH city. The reason for this was just to cushion the psychological trauma. If there is any relationship or activity you are attached to that does not give you joy and fulfilment. Do well to detach yourself because it can result to a viral lacuna. Never hesitate to forge ahead. There is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
7. YOUR POTENTIALS ARE LIMITLESS
While in Port Harcourt, these buddies never hesitated for once to remind me of my failure. They never believe I could move up the ladder hence the disregard. Never disregard or define anybody by their present predicament. Who are you to write a man off when the Lord is still in the business of uplifting souls? That person you may think has no future right now may end up being your helper tomorrow. In December 2018, I said to a young lady during a practical session.
“I don’t think I can succeed here”
She smiled and said to me “Then how did you get here?”
“Grace” I said.
She looked at me and replied “The grace that brought you here will definitely see you through”.
This statement made a lot of sense to me and ever since then, I have been basking on this word of knowledge. Never write anyone off. Our potentials are limitless. The beauty of life is that anyone can succeed. Determination, Grace, Hard work and consistency are the ingredients you need.
8. THERE ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OUT THERE
Base on my painful experience in Port Harcourt, I would have just enacted that there are no true acquaintance out there. But my experience in the last few months gave me a different meaning to life. There are people out there who actually care about you at least to a reasonable level. Cherish these persons as they are very hard to come by. These are the people that will go out of their way to assist you. They are truly concerned about your wellbeing.
9. CHANGE BEGINS WITH YOU
It very easy to say ‘People are Fake’ and all that. But the question is what are you to other people? How do you treat other people, are you concerned about their welfare too? One important thing I’ve come to realize in life is that it is way easier to be yourself than to try to be someone else’s. Always be true to yourself and do not get drown in the pool of self-deceit. Never lower your standard because you want to be associated with the concept of being cool. They don’t like you, you don’t like them; go somewhere else. Make efforts to be that ideal friend.
Life ain’t all rosy, we get to experience the good and the bad. These experiences are just to make our story interesting and worthwhile. Even if you are not in your desired place of rest right now. Never give up because God being the architect of our lives is still on the throne and he has a great plans ahead us. In order to bask in full euphoria of God’s presence, you must follow his footsteps, study the word of God and Pray always. When you are in Christ, that is the end of the world.
Spread the love today because God is love. Let everything you do be borne out of love.
Happy New Month
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